For His Purpose and By His Grace

I was surprised.  I didn’t expect to think of them again…again this year.  On the week of Christmas of all the weeks, they were on my heart more than ever.  They had been the year before.  I couldn’t believe how close they felt even though they were so far away.

Last year, God had placed my friends residing in Haiti on my heart in the most powerful way in the days leading up to Christmas.  My husband had surprised me to no end when he’d gifted me with a painting of a Haitian friend, the one of the man who sang and offered hope, on Christmas morning.

Not usually one to cry, I had burst into tears when I opened it.   I was able to visit that same singing friend in the summer shortly before he went to be with Jesus.  What a beautiful reminder the painting is now!  What a keepsake of Mr. Ifwa and what a story of God’s ways.  I will never forget now.  I will never forget the way God teaches us through the most unlikely friends.  God is so faithful.

The second Christmas {since my first trip to Haiti} came and went a week ago.  My friends in Haiti were all I could think about for several reasons.  The culture around me was seeking joy in the hopes of abundant materialism.  The friends so far from me were seeking Jesus as the true hope and I could feel the difference.  The more I thought about Haiti, the more the conversation (about Christmas and culture differences) that I’d shared with Edgard and Laura resonated in my heart.

The joy in Jesus is more than enough when the hope is so fully in Him and so minimally in material gain.

I can see this at Christmas, my favorite time of year: the way some want more stuff and others simply want more of Him.

Christmastime is also the time spent around tables when people begin saying things about the coming year.

“Do you think you’ll go back to Haiti?” And “Are you planning any mission trips this year?”become popular prompts in conversation and I have to take a deep breath each time…and I never fully answer…for a few reasons.

Haiti is not a trip.  It never really should have been “just a trip” to me (before I knew better) and it ceases to be a trip now.  In addition to that, it is not geographically close enough for my finances to allow trips on a whim.  It’s a little bit out of my reach and yeah…that makes my heart ache more than a little.

What is Haiti now?  I have come to understand the pull a bit better.  I’ve come to see the purpose a bit more clearly though I certainly stand in awe of the unknown ways of God, because His plans are not my plans.  His purposes are still a mystery to me…but the big picture is slowly coming into focus more and more often.

Haiti doesn’t exist to meet my spiritual needs, nor am I able to meet the spiritual or physical needs of Haiti.  I’m so much smaller than that.  I cannot do big things.  I cannot spread the Gospel to every person on the globe.  I cannot bring about world peace or an end to  suffering.  I cannot solve hurt or hunger here nor there.  Only God can do that, but our God is the one true God and He sends us for His unknown purposes.  

By His grace, I have been blessed with friendships so far from my home and for His glory, I will return for as long as He sends me to go.  On this side of Heaven, I may never fully know the “why.”  And that is quite alright.

God has called us to love and I want to love with all of my heart: in my home, in my neighborhood, across barriers, and across oceans. I want to love those in my country and those on other soil.  I want to love those that I have been blessed to raise and snuggle 365 days a year and I want to love those that I have been blessed to visit 8 days a summer for as long as God allows. I want to love the three children in my maternal embrace and I want to love the Haitian teacher, my sweet friend, Claudi.  By His grace, we love.

  
Because He first loved us.

Because His love reaches wide and strong and real distances.

Because He is enough.

For His glory.

And only by His grace.

It is uncertain where God will allow me to show love this year.  I will continue to go and to love where He sends me, when He sends me, as far or as close as He sends me, as long as He ordains and leads such love.  May it be said of me.  I will follow Him both near and far.  May it be said of us.  We will love as He loves.

Jesus, we will go.  

May we trust His unknown ways.

From my heart to yours,    ~Courtney

Gracious, I love these women.  They are some of my favorite people on the planet.  They make a living in this marketplace and they can play a mean game of “Little Sally Walker.”  Do not try to out dance these friends.  Whether we dance together again on the concrete floor of this marketplace or on the streets of gold, we will party it up because our hearts share the ultimate joy in Jesus!  His ways.  By His grace and for His glory.