When the World Needs You: Blessed are The Friend Makers

Some folks are way too slow to claim new friends.  Can I get an “amen” up in here?!  They won’t claim just anyone.  Prime example? I know this guy.

Once upon a time, I had this friend.  We would hang out and laugh and eat tacos at the local taco place in our college town.  We went for pizza, sat together in church, and had game nights.  I made him cookies.  He shared his stash of mints.  (I like a good mint.)  Correct me if I am wrong, but THAT is clearly enough to call “friendship.”  No?

Months passed.  By golly, week after week I’d say, “You are one of my favorite college friends!” {I’m nothing if not an open-book.}

 He would reply, “Sure.  Sorta.  I guess.  We don’t know each other that well.”

Pop. Deflated.

Now listen.  I suppose I should mention that this new college friend had been on campus for years before I arrived.  He had established friendships.  Sure.  We’ll give him that, I suppose. On the flip side, I met him on the very first day upon campus arrival.  Literally.

So.   I called him “friend.” 

 He spent plenty of time with me and called me, “Sure.  Sorta.  Yeah.  I guess.”  Ugh.  

Dear readers, you are smart people, so I will cut to the chase.  This guy was playing it cool.  He was not just my friend.  

He’s my husband.  He likes me.  Turns out. {I knew he was my real friend!  I knew it all along.  Boom!}

Of all the people in the whole-wide-world, this guy likes me best.  He even liked me then, to be frank.  He had been crushing on me since the first day, in fact. But let us not jump into friendship. That would be too much.  Let us call one another, “Yeah.  Sure.  Sorta.  I guess,” friends.  We wouldn’t want to get too serious, now.  (Please mentally insert the laughing emoji here.  Thank you.) This makes me smile.

This isn’t really the story of college frienship turned matrimonial bliss.  This is a tale for all humanity, in fact.

I will tell you a little secret I am learning about grown-up life.  Some folks take a bit longer to warm up to “friendship.”  They don’t want to claim it too hastily.  They consider their friendships the ones that have been tried and true.  This is not wrong.  This is simply the way of a highly discerning, more reserved personality.  I think.  I, on the other hand, claim friends rather liberally.  Friendship for everyone!  

Really though.  

The fact of the matter is that the world needs more friends.  We need less acquaintances.  We need far less enemies.  Approximately zero of those are needed, in fact.  Let’s not have enemies.

Perhaps acquaintance is the name for people we’ve not quite committed to knowing.  We can’t know just everyone.  Of course, not.  I get that.  Time would never allow such a thing.  But let’s examine what acquaintance means so we fully own that.  Shall we?  

Acquaintance is the name for someone we do not claim as our kindred.  We’re simply going to have some people that we can’t know as well.  We definitely cannot spend time with everyone. I cannot be friends with all the people.  Got it.  Noted.

Logistics aside, there are far more people worth getting to know than perhaps we are willing to claim.  Who says you can’t get to know someone different from you?  Who says you must hold close only a small group?  Who says that person alone doesn’t need you?  She may need you, in fact.  God gives us to each other.  For such a time as this.  

There’s this new buzzword and quite frankly, it’s driving me bananas.  You’ve heard it, too.  I think it is good for emotional health to an extent.  I also think it’s a lame excuse to build higher fences around our hearts.

Boundaries.

They are all the rage.  Friend, there’s a time and place for emotional boundaries and knowing our limits.  So good!  So healthy!  Do what you need for your sanity…and then?

Let people in.  

Be welcoming. Be a refuge. Be vulnerable.  Be brave.  Live with open arms, open hearts, and the message of Jesus written upon your life.  

The world needs more friendship and less isolation.

The world has enough half-hearted aquaintances and far too many enemies hoping for the worst.  The world needs more of those who will claim, love, and hope for the best!  We need more people praying together.  We need more meals dropped off and more invited to the table to share.  The world has enough people crying, “Boundary,” to masque an unforgiving heart.  Jesus didn’t speak of this.  Jesus welcomed a messy crew.  You can love all sorts of people, as well.

We need to seek Jesus to love the way He loves.  We cannot live fully without the goodness of God.  With God, we can love one more.  He makes room at the table and prepares another place.

May our lives be quick to welcome in another.  May we call another “friend” in the middle of their mess, because Jesus loves us in our imperfection.  May we add one more to the table.  May we write another name on the guest list.  May we pull up a chair for one more.

One more soul.  One more life.  One more image bearer of God.  One more sister in the Kingdom.  One more imperfect friend.  One more perspective.  One more mind.  One more friend to share life with.  One more heart to hear the loving kindness and truth of God.  Just one more.

Or perhaps a dozen.  Do what you can for the people God has put in your path. The world doesn’t need another fence or another acquaintance.  Someone else can claim boundaries and make enemies.  Not you and I.  

We are the friend-makers.  And there’s room for the people God has placed around us.

From my full heart to yours,      ~Courtney

  

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