Beloved Brews Thursday: Then Sings My Soul

I’m wordy.  My level of “wordy” surpasses “chatty.”  (Though I am chatty.)  Words are my love language.  I am most encouraged by words.  I am most hurt by words.  Time does not make me forget words.  I remember most of the words that were ever spoken by my loved ones and friends: whether funny, hurtful, or loving words…I can recall a plethora of them with zero effort.  I guess words matter to me.  I am best at showing love through words.  I am best at receiving love through words.  I am most likely to practice forgiveness because of words and I am most likely to (unintentionally) harbor hurt feelings because of words.  I have learned to show compassion through words.  I have learned to guard my heart from words that are meant to tear me down, as well as flattery that simply shouldn’t fall on my ears.  Most every, “I’m sorry,” that I have ever said was because of words.  Most of the good relationships in my life have been well nurtured by words.  God has been faithful to teach me lessons through the spoken language.  I even found a desire to speak in a foreign country, where perhaps others learned to communicate nonverbally.  While I tried my best to speak a bit of Creole, a Haitian med student once (kindly and amusingly) referred to my use of his native language as “very interesting.”  So…that’s how that went.  Oh, the words.  The people around me either love me…or not so much…because of WORDS.  I have a surplus of them.  The good, the bad, and the ugly: it is what it is.  I am learning to embrace this and to seek God where the words cause messiness.

Is it any surprise, then, that God feeds my soul through words? I share words frequently.  I am a mother, an elementary school teacher (on hiatus), an adult Sunday School teacher, a talker, a writer, a singer, and sometimes a leader of women’s Bible (or book) studies.  So, you know…I talk.  (I have nodules on my vocal cords to prove this well-known fact.)  When you give something away often, you come to realize your need to refuel.  I need words like I need water.  Really.  If I don’t consume enough of the written or spoken language, I can become an empty pitcher, dry with nothing left to offer.  So, I try to stay well-hydrated in words.

God speaks to my heart through scripture and worship music.  I breathe it in, savor it, and thrive on it.  If I miss a Sunday morning worship service because I’m on duty in the nursery, yeah…friends and family members always note that I’m a bear on those weeks.  After several years, I noticed the pattern. (Sidenote: it’s a good thing to rotate in the nursery and I love children.  This is just a weird quirk of being Courtney Stanford.  Again, please note that I am happy to be in the nursery.  I’m just not good at missing worship with other believers or sermons.) I’m the same way if I don’t read my Bible.  I think that most people survive with fewer words.  Yet, I am aware that I desperately need to be surrounded by the word of God on a very frequent basis.  {This is not to validate anyone’s desire to give up Bible reading…you need it too!}  It is who I am and I have learned that I am exactly as I should be.  God does not make mistakes.  In fact, I am beginning to think that He likes my “wordiness,” and that perhaps it was part of His plan for me.  What a relief! (Another sidenote: I DO, however, need to practice being less of a bear in the six days following nursery duty…I’m a work in progress. What can I say?)

I am most able to love others to the fullest when my soul is fed.  I love to read my Bible.  I especially love the little apps on my phone that allow me to look up a scripture passage and read it in numerous translations in a matter of minutes.  I feel like this practice gives me an opportunity to comprehend the meaning in a different way.  When I comprehend God’s word to me, I feel like I have truly experienced the heart of God.  These are the times when I so fully feel His presence.  I have even made a “board” on Pinterest complete with all of my favorite scriptures.  This gives me a chance to find the favorites quickly to share with others.  My “Hide His Word in My Heart” board uniquely allows me to give my soul a fast “snack” that I can only compare to an energy bar for my heart.  Ha!  Really.  If I need to refocus, I have the opportunity to quickly read the words from God that have spoken to my very own heart, in specific ways, throughout my life.  Fuel.  It’s soul fuel, I tell you.

Just yesterday, I posted about songs that brighten my spirit and strengthen my soul.  Since words speak to my heart so deeply, it only makes sense that the music I listen to is critical to the state of my soul.  I also have songs that comfort me and songs that remind me of God’s beautiful sovereignty.  Keep your eyes peeled for those posts.  They’re coming!  My heart needs these songs.  I am so dry without them.  My soul is truly thirsty for the promises in worship music.  My soul needs to sing.  In some form or another, your soul needs to sing, too.

In addition to songs and scripture, I’m a reader.  As the momma of three little boys, I don’t progress in books the way I may, once I grow into that “empty nester” phase.  For now, I read a few good books each year.  (I read as much as time allows.)  Most of my reading, however, is blog reading.  I can find five minutes here or there to read encouraging blog posts or posts that challenge me to think differently and to live more fully in Jesus.  I’m all about those.  (I’ll share my favorites with you one day.)  Just like music, I am careful about the kind of reading I allow into my heart.  I’m a huge fan of keeping it as pure as possible. Good stuff in, good stuff out.  Bad stuff in…no thanks.  The world is plenty messy without adding any extra garbage to my soul, thank you very much.  I’ll pass on soul-garbage.

It’s really Jesus I am after.  It’s the pursuit of Him.  I’m so thankful that when I have failed at this, Jesus has faithfully pursued my heart.  I want to know more of His.  When my heart is full of Him, then I am a better vessel, more capable of loving others the way Jesus loves.  I think we all need to focus on this.  When it comes to loving like Jesus loves, we need all the help we can get.  Am I right?  When my heart is well-watered with His abundant truth and reminders of His mercy, I am a full pitcher from which goodness and grace can flow.  I can breathe easier knowing that I have been in fellowship with my Savior.  When I surround myself with His word, His songs, His promises: THEN sings my soul.

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder. Thy power throughout the Universe displayed. Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee.  How great thou art.  How great thou art.  Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee.  How great thou art!  How great thou art!

May you be in tune with the ways God speaks to your unique soul.  May your pitcher be abundantly full so that His grace may flow from your soul and His goodness may pour into the lives of those He has placed around you.  May your soul sing of His unfailing love so that others may see His perfect beauty.

From my soul to yours,
~Courtney